Ko-fi Tip Jar - Why Am I Doing This?

I have now set up a Ko-fi account, to replace the Patreon I was attempting. I just feel weird doing it, keep thinking I need to explain myself.

So what happened was a few months ago, I had finally gotten the 5e books and was working on preparing a 5e game. I just got frustrating, because I realized a lot of important stuff wasn't in the core books - I needed Xanathar's and Tasha's.  Meanwhile, I was getting into other games at the same time. I realized that I could afford to buy a book or a such once a month, but I have multiple hobbies.

I was frustrated. I had considered the idea of paid DMing for some time, but was hesitant. I debated it, and finally decided to do a test run. Not a paid game, but I was going to act like it was, and learn the system inside out as much as I could before asking anyone for a penny. I was upfront with the players - but also promised I was not going to turn around and charge for a game. I mean that - I will never try to charge for an existing game. However, I ultimately decided that I don't feel comfortable, at least not right now, with charging for a game.

I do always think back to when I started playing. Money has always been tight for me, and gaming is a sacrifice. I remember playing D&D without even owning a Player's Handbook - I had a $20 starter set which I just adapted for higher levels while I learned the system. I couldn't afford $90 for an actual set, and it took me about 2 years or so to get the core rulebooks. Instead of miniatures, I used scraps of paper and coins, or pawns from other games.

Point is, I always hated seeing a game pay-gated. I hate the idea of putting a barrier between a player and a game they are interested in just because they can't afford it. Hell, people who can't afford nice luxuries might be the people who need this kind of game the most - it's a great, healthy form of escape that seems to enrich the lives of those who play it (in my experience). I wish this were free, and I want to run my games for free.

There's the problem. I have been blessed, players and friends have helped me out, and given me some great stuff which I use in my games. I always appreciate it, and it makes me all the more hesitant to ask for more from others. However, it also makes me realize how much better the games are when we have proper tools and assets for the game.

I want to not tell players "oh you can't because I don't own that book". I want more options and inspiration in my games. I want to be able to go into my local game stores and not just browse, but support them as well. On my income, I have to be careful what I spend.

I decided I'm not charging for a game. While exploring how paid DMs even get paid, I looked into stuff and decided to explore a "tip jar" idea. Just anyone who enjoys what I do, or wants to support my gaming, could throw in a dollar or so, and I'd be able to get supplies without sacrificing things. 

So I set up a Patreon, and tried it out, but I thought I set it for one-time tips, and it was doing monthly subscriptions...for nothing. It was not what I intended, and I felt pressure - I could do a Patreon, but  I had to deliver. I had to make new content. Sometimes that's easy - but I don't know if I can be consistent, and what I could provide regularly. I also realized I don't quite understand how Patreon works, and I wouldn't be comfortable paying someone who doesn't understand how they're getting paid. Also, they take a chunk of money and insist I set a $5 minimum - and anything less, they take so much to make it not worth it. You're not supporting my games - you're supporting Patreon at that point.

I'm trying out Ko-fi, because it seems straightforward, and there are no fees. I just want to be upfront about it, and I say it on the ko-fi page, but I am not looking at making a living on anything here. My needs are covered - I just need more game supplies. 

If you can't spare it, I'd rather talk you out of tipping, because there are better uses. If you're also on low income, I'd rather you buy groceries. If there's a content creator out there you feel needs support, someone who actually is actually trying to make their living here, I'd rather they be able to pay their rent - and be able to keep making cool stuff. If all I get is $5 a month - that's cool, because that covers my Roll20 subscription. If I get $50, I can go buy a D&D book from the FLGS. That's really all this is about - helping offset the costs of my gaming budget.

So this is me explaining myself, talking you out of tipping, and having mixed feelings about begging (or maybe this is panhandling? I hate to think that).  I have mixed feelings about paid DMs, and I have fewer about this, because I can be upfront about it. I just feel that before asking for money, people know what and why I'm asking.

If you can help, I appreciate that. If you can't (or don't feel comfortable), I am okay with that, too.

Thanks for reading, and remember to take care of yourself and have fun with your own gaming.